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Homophobia 101; and some connections between homophobia and misogyny
by Gary Rosche*
Second Invited Guest Essay
I have been thinking a lot about homophobia lately. Mostly due to the whitewashing of it that we've seen in the aftermath of the passage of Prop 8 in California. Gay people were told, by other gay people no less, that they were crossing a line by daring to say that black homophobia was a central cause of the law's passage. We were told by our own brothers and sisters that our "white privilege" erased any damage that rampant homophobia in our society could possibly cause us, and that we should be ashamed of ourselves for comparing our situation to that of the civil rights struggle of African Americans. We were told that attitudes are changing, especially among the youth, and that all we had to do is wait just a little bit longer and everything would be OK. We were told that it is in our best interest to make nice with bigots who hate us, like Rick Warren, in the name of unity. We were told that our civil rights would have to wait because the economy is in such dire straits. We were told, basically, that our rights were not of primary importance.
Bullshit.
There is nothing more important in an open and free democracy than the equality of its people and that justice prevail for all citizens. ...With liberty and justice for all. We memorize that almost as soon as we learn to read. So why are so many people willing to overlook that fact when it is denied to gay people?
Homophobia.
That's it. It's not that difficult to understand. It is the reason that gays are the only group left in this country for whom everyday derision and scorn is not only acceptable, it is encouraged by left and right alike. Even sexism, which is probably the mother of homophobia, is universally denounced, if only in words. Even though sexism is rampant and acceptable in our society, at the very least in name, almost nobody tries to justify sexism qua sexism. At least in most polite secular public discourse, there is nobody arguing explicitly against the idea of women as full persons who should be considered possessed of equal rights, status, and opportunity; women's rights are not called "special rights". Certainly in action this rhetoric is often flouted by those who espouse it. My point is that open homophobia is widely acceptable in our culture, institutionalized in any number of contexts and in many instances codified in law. But rather than make a distinction between misogyny and homophobia, I wanted to point out that homophobia, and its societal expression, is an extension of misogyny and its social expression. Indeed homophobia might well be understood as a more "acceptable" outlet for misognyy in a society that pays lip service to women's equality. Homophobia might be the release that misogynists need to express their hatred of women--but more on that later.
Note: Before anyone mentions my focus primarily on gay men in this post, I will point out that persecution of lesbians is not only as rampant as persecution of gay men, it is in many ways worse. They are not only the object of hatred of women, but they are often depicted as the worst of the many failings of women. Failure to be able to please a man, failure to conform to gender roles, failure to basically perpetuate the patriarchal status quo. Men have been interchanging the words "feminist" and "lesbian" since the former first entered the lexicon. Therefore, as I try to paint a picture of homophobia (in particular gay male homophobia) as a subset of misogyny, keep in mind that lesbians are subjected to both, and the subject is most definitely worthy of the focus of its own separate consideration.
From the Bible Belt to Hollywood, from the schoolyard to the White House. From Main Street to Madison Avenue. There is not one sector of this country that is not tainted by homophobia. And that includes the gay community itself. And it most certainly applies to all those young voters out there who are so proud that they are the first generation of the new post-racial, post-gay, post-partisan Age of Obama. Actually post-reality might be more to the point.
So what proof do I offer that homophobia is persistent, even in the youth of America? Well let's begin with popular culture, which in our age obsessed society is almost entirely directed at those 18-35 year olds that advertisers love so much. And homophobia sells. Especially to young men. Let's take a look.
As I mentioned before, homophobia in many ways is a subset of misogyny. Being a sissy, or being too closely associated with anything that is traditionally feminine in our culture is seen as a weakness, not only because of its connection to homosexuality, but because in our patriarchal society, women are second class, and nothing could be more deviant or abhorrent than a male being perceived to act like a woman--a member of the servile class. All you have to do is open a magazine to realize this. Take this ad from Nike:
In this ad, the connection between homophobia and misogyny is clear. Do not doubt that the readers, especially the young male readers, get the message. Ballet is for girls, and if you are a boy and you like ballet, that means you are acting like a girl. That makes you a fag. And being a fag is not only about sex (although that plays a part, which we will discuss later), it is about the unforgivable sin of emulating a woman. Barely legible in the bottom right corner it says "Raise a Champion". It might as well just say "Don't Raise a Fag". This is a persistent message in our culture. The worst thing that can happen to a man is that he ends up gay. Here's another example:
In case you can't read it, this is what the small print says:
"He didn't do pilates. Moisturize. Or drink pink cocktails. Your dad drank whiskey cocktails. Made with Canadian Club. Served in a rocks glass. They tasted good. They were effortless. DAMN RIGHT YOUR DAD DRANK IT."
I don't think the message could be any clearer. They just cleverly substituted the word "fag" with "metrosexual". And again, its not the sex part of being gay that is ridiculed, it's the supposedly "feminine" aspect. (this ad, btw, is from an entire series that is not only homophobic, but UNBELIEVABLY sexist) But not only is homophobia about demonizing gays as "feminine". It also has to do with the actual sex act itself. These of course go hand in hand because the thing about gay sex that makes it taboo is that it is also seen as being feminine. A man who allows himself to be penetrated, either orally or anally is putting himself on the same level as a woman sexually, and for this reason so many men seem to be repulsed or offended by the mere thought of it. This fear makes its way onto the billboards and tv ads as well. Again from Nike:
And this from the same series:
In case you weren't aware, "punk" is the equivalent to "fag" in many circles. Of course the implication is that even in the heat of a sports match, a gay person is constantly going to try to penetrate you. Ironically men are taught to both fear being raped by gay men while at the same time scorning them for acting like women. We've heard these two disparate reasons even recently in the conversation about ending DADT. Opponents argue that gays will not only disrupt cohesion by making straight men feel uncomfortable around girly gays, they will also feel threatened (supposedly by the fear of rape) by having to shower with them as well.
Finally, I found this short piece on youtube about homophobia in advertising. Watch here. What I especially appreciate is the attention drawn to the one two punch delivered to gays by these messages. First, any ad which is pro gay is quickly neutralized and censored, while the ads that portray violence against gays or reinforce stereotypes are heralded as groundbreaking and hilarious. These ads aren't aimed at right wing, older, religious nuts. They are aimed at YOUNG MEN. So don't tell me that homophobia is passe, or that I'm making a mountain out of a molehill. Homophobia is widespread and entirely acceptable in our society. It is an acceptable extension of misogyny; and more specifically violence and hatred directed at women. Gay men are women by proxy and our society has given permission to straight men to act out otherwise taboo aggressions on them rather than direct them towards women. Until we end misogyny in this country, it seems unlikely that we will make any inroads in terms of ending homophobia. And the only way to deal with both is to stand up and shout that we aren't going to take it anymore. Not from men. Not from women. Not from the media. Not from Hollywood. Not from liberals. Not from conservatives. Not from blacks. Not from whites. Not from Christians. Not from Muslims. Not from Jews. Not from Democrats. Not from Republicans. NOT FROM ANYONE. It is time to end homophobia NOW.
SILENCE=DEATH
Gary Rosche is a gay blogger who lives and works in Chapel Hill, NC. He blogs under the name garychapelhill along with his husband, Mawm, at his blog Electric Blues.
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